Lets Laugh a Bit...!

[Shamim Ansary]

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching."

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."

[Shamim Ansary]

A high school had a policy that the parents must call the school if a student was to be absent for the day.

Rose (name changed to protect the guilty), deciding to skip school and go to the mall with her friends waited until her parents had left for work and called the school herself.

This is the actual conversation of the telephone call...

Rose: "Hi, I'm calling to report that Rose so-and-so is unable to make it to school today because she is ill.

Secretary at high school: "Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. I'll note her absence. Who is this calling?"

Rose: "This is my mother."

[Shamim Ansary]

Teacher: Mina, make a sentence starting with the letter 'I'.

Mina: I is...

Teacher: No, no, no, don't say "I is", you say "I am".

Mina: OK, I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.

[Shamim Ansary]

"If there are any idiots in the room, will they please stand up" said the sarcastic teacher.

After a long silence, one freshman rose to his feet.

"Now then mister, why do you consider yourself an idiot?" enquired the teacher with a sneer.

"Well, actually I don't," said the student, "but I hate to see you standing up there all by yourself."

[Shamim Ansary]

Physics Teacher: "Isaac Newton was sitting under a tree when an apple fell on his head and he discovered gravity. Isn't that wonderful?"

Student: "Yes sir, if he had been sitting in class looking at books like us, he wouldn't have discovered anything."

[Shamim Ansary]

Summer vacation was over and Little Kanta returned back to school.

Only two days later her teacher phoned her mother to tell her that she was misbehaving.

"Wait a minute," she said. "I had Kanta with me for three months and I never called you once when she misbehaved!"