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Messages - Shamim Ansary

Pages: 1 ... 9 10 [11] 12 13
151
Jokes, Fun & Humor / Re: Lets Laugh a Bit...!
« on: June 26, 2011, 11:57:28 PM »
Summer vacation was over and Little Kanta returned back to school.

Only two days later her teacher phoned her mother to tell her that she was misbehaving.

"Wait a minute," she said. "I had Kanta with me for three months and I never called you once when she misbehaved!"

152
Jokes, Fun & Humor / Re: Lets Laugh a Bit...!
« on: June 26, 2011, 11:55:31 PM »
Physics Teacher: "Isaac Newton was sitting under a tree when an apple fell on his head and he discovered gravity. Isn't that wonderful?"

Student: "Yes sir, if he had been sitting in class looking at books like us, he wouldn't have discovered anything."

153
Jokes, Fun & Humor / Re: Lets Laugh a Bit...!
« on: June 26, 2011, 11:54:44 PM »
"If there are any idiots in the room, will they please stand up" said the sarcastic teacher.

After a long silence, one freshman rose to his feet.

"Now then mister, why do you consider yourself an idiot?" enquired the teacher with a sneer.

"Well, actually I don't," said the student, "but I hate to see you standing up there all by yourself."

154
Jokes, Fun & Humor / Re: Lets Laugh a Bit...!
« on: June 26, 2011, 11:53:50 PM »
Teacher: Mina, make a sentence starting with the letter 'I'.

Mina: I is...

Teacher: No, no, no, don't say "I is", you say "I am".

Mina: OK, I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.

155
Jokes, Fun & Humor / Re: Lets Laugh a Bit...!
« on: June 26, 2011, 11:52:39 PM »
A high school had a policy that the parents must call the school if a student was to be absent for the day.

Rose (name changed to protect the guilty), deciding to skip school and go to the mall with her friends waited until her parents had left for work and called the school herself.

This is the actual conversation of the telephone call...

Rose: "Hi, I'm calling to report that Rose so-and-so is unable to make it to school today because she is ill.

Secretary at high school: "Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. I'll note her absence. Who is this calling?"

Rose: "This is my mother."

156
Jokes, Fun & Humor / Re: Lets Laugh a Bit...!
« on: June 26, 2011, 11:50:17 PM »
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching."

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."

157
Jokes, Fun & Humor / Re: Lets Laugh a Bit...!
« on: June 26, 2011, 11:47:55 PM »
Teacher: Why are you late, Joseph?

Rana: Because of a sign down the road.

Teacher: What does a sign have to do with your being late?

Rana: The sign said, "School Ahead, Go Slow!"

158
Jokes, Fun & Humor / Re: Lets Laugh a Bit...!
« on: June 26, 2011, 11:46:25 PM »
The teacher of the earth science class was lecturing on map reading.

After explaining about latitude, longitude, degrees and minutes the teacher asked, "Suppose I asked you to meet me for lunch at 23 degrees, 4 minutes north latitude and 45 degrees, 15 minutes east longitude...?"

After a confused silence, a voice volunteered, "I guess you'd be eating alone."

159
Jokes, Fun & Humor / Re: Lets Laugh a Bit...!
« on: June 26, 2011, 11:45:35 PM »
The child comes home from his first day at school. Mother asks, "What did you learn today?"

The kid replies, "Not enough. I have to go back tomorrow."

160
Jokes, Fun & Humor / Re: Lets Laugh a Bit...!
« on: June 26, 2011, 11:44:39 PM »
Little Raju wasn't getting good marks in school. One day he surprised the teacher with an announcement. He tapped her on the shoulder and said, "I don't want to scare you, but my daddy says if I don't start getting better grades, somebody is going to get a spanking!"

161
Jokes, Fun & Humor / Re: Lets Laugh a Bit...!
« on: June 26, 2011, 11:42:48 PM »
"Isn't the principal a dummy!" said a boy to a girl.

"Well, do you know who I am?" asked the girl.

"No." replied the boy.

"I'm the principal's daughter." said the girl.

"And do you know who I am?" asked the boy.

"No," she replied.

"Thank goodness!" said the boy with a sign of relief.

162
Jokes, Fun & Humor / Re: Lets Laugh a Bit...!
« on: June 26, 2011, 11:41:49 PM »
A man in a hurry taking his eight-year-old son to school made a turn at a red light where it was prohibited.

"Uh-oh, I think I just made an illegal turn!" the man said.

"It's okay, Dad," the boy said, "The police car right behind us did the same thing."

163
Jokes, Fun & Humor / Re: Lets Laugh a Bit...!
« on: June 26, 2011, 11:38:30 PM »
Why did Jenifer take a ruler to bed?

Because she wanted to see how long she slept!
 

164
Jokes, Fun & Humor / Re: Lets Laugh a Bit...!
« on: June 26, 2011, 11:36:58 PM »
How do you spell Hard Water with 3 letters?

ICE!

165
Jokes, Fun & Humor / Re: Lets Laugh a Bit...!
« on: June 26, 2011, 11:35:38 PM »
Q: Why does history keep repeating itself?

A: Because we weren't listening the first time!

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